applebutterbabie:

Love seeing little pawprints. So fucking magical. There was a little guy here.

jxshamar:

ruinedchildhood:

when he nut in your mouth for the first time

When yo white friend mom asks you how the food tastes

thebootydiaries:

DONT ask me if I have a job.. my job is LIFE…i get paid in LAUGTER, somethinf most people dont EXPERIENCE….Fool..also i work part time in a convenience store

lmaonade:

brain: do you have your wallet?

me: *slaps my ass so hard everyone in the target can hear it*

me: yeah

linda-belcher:

I’m always a slut for lying in bed for hours on end doing nothing productive.

sylferino:

sylferino:

going to the grocery store when youre 20 makes your receipt look like this:

• item 1                            1.94
• item 2                            1.94
• item 3                            0.50
• item 4                            0.32
• item 5                            1.00
• item 6                            1.00
• item 7                            0.72
• item 8                            0.69
• item 9                            2.00
• item 10                          5.87
• item 11                          1.00
• item 12                          1.36

subtotal:                                 18.34

and you think about the $5 one for the rest of the day

ruinedchildhood:

I still hate it. It’s humiliating.
Not to me it’s not.
Thor: Ragnarok (2017)

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

nan0neko:

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

there is no final version of yourself. we never stop growing or changing, nor should we. stop beating yourself up for not being ‘there’ yet.

The final version of yourself is the one you die in I think

Oh, well I don’t know how it works with you mortals

sighingballoon:

thefighter2-deactivated20200212:

#luigi after developing amnesia being interrogated by toads

welfareglasses:

how to be petty; step 1

captainemmur:

rinnysega:

quality 

I’m actually laughing really hard